Let Your Children Grow Up
by E. J. Morgan
Summary: Tag (and mild spoilers) to season 1: L.D.S.K. and Derailed. Gideon and Hotch talk about how they have to let Reid grow up and not try to shelter him from everything. AU because I made Reid a bit younger. (20 years old)


**Let Your Children Grow Up**

"They wanted to know if I'm abusive, didn't they?" – Jason Gideon looked up surprised at the sudden question from his position on the narrow couch of the jet, where he was keeping vigil beside their comfortably sleeping young genius. He found a sad and broken Unit Chief regarding him uncertainly, standing just a tad bit farther away than necessary, as if he were afraid to get too close to the one he had hurt but also not bearing to be away from him either. This conflict seemed to weight on the younger agent horribly, as he hovered, unshed tears glistering in his eyes. – "That's why the doctors insisted on talking to you instead of me, even though I hold his power of attorney."

"That's standard procedure, Aaron: you were both in there and they needed a statement from you two. Of course, you had to give it separately; there's nothing unusual about it. And he did give his own version while he was being examined, therefore you couldn't be there."

Hotch shook his head.

"I didn't mean that: they wanted to talk to _you_ about _him and me_. The doctors, specifically."

"Ah." – There was no denying it. Indeed, there had been a point when the doctors had expressly said they wanted to talk to someone other than Hotch about the results of the examinations. – "Yes, well. I would say this is pretty standard as well. They needed to make sure this was all part of the plan. And Spencer confirmed it was, nobody has any doubts anymore. That's all that happened."

"He has bruises." – Stated Hotch the obvious, nodding towards a far too thin arm partially sticking out from under the blanket Gideon had draped over the boy after he had finally succumbed to exhaustion.

"They'll fade in a few days; probably within the week. There was only worry about one on his chest but the X-ray showed no damage to his ribs or any other internal problems. He's fine, Aaron."

"He's still bruised."

"He bruises easily: he's lithe and pale. Do the math. He's still fine."

"He must be sore." – Hotch insisted regretfully.

"I prefer sore any day to you two, along with a few hostages, being _dead_. Your plan and the quick thinking saved many people today. I'm proud. Of both of you."

"And I'm disgusted with myself. Not just the kicking but the things I said as well… He'll be afraid of me now and rightfully so. I'm just like my father." – Hotch said mournfully. – "I don't deserve his trust or to be his superior. He must be traumatized."

"He is." – Gideon nodded sadly. – "He is, or at least _will be_ , traumatized because it was his first kill ever. We all know nobody ever forgets their first kill; he won't either. But it's all right, we'll help him through it. He's a very strong boy, Aaron, give him some credit. He's certainly not afraid of you, or will even think about this whole thing like you wanting to hurt him. You talked to him and explained it, even though he already knew on his own. You also – quite unnecessarily so I might add – apologized."

"My father… he would also apologize afterwards too, as soon as he was sober. He'd also promise it wouldn't happen ever again, but then he'd drink the next day and everything would just begin anew. Apologies don't mean a damn thing, Jason."

Gideon stood up and faced his long-time colleague and friend with a stern expression.

"Listen to me, Aaron, and listen good: You. Are. Not. Your. Father. You did what you had to in order to survive and save the hostages. You and Spencer worked extraordinarily good together, since you didn't even have the opportunity to talk about the plan. You didn't have any other choice but to word it all as a threat and taunting to him, otherwise it would have been too obvious. If it's even possible, he should trust you now more than ever."

"There should have been another way…"

"But there wasn't. Get over it. He has. As a matter of fact…" – Gideon said, turning back towards their still oblivious charge with a fond smile. – "… I'm afraid we won't be able to shelter him as much as we have been doing for long anymore…"

Hotch frowned at that.

"What do you mean, Jason?"

"Well, just think about it: he's been working with us for nearly a year now, longer than Elle. Up until now he has put up with being left behind whenever we went somewhere we considered potentially 'unsafe' for him, and hasn't complained about it but soon, he'll realize that in order to learn more, he needs to be on field. And then he'll start rebelling."

"That's stupid, Jason. He still hasn't reached the right age for an FBI agent, let alone for joining the BAU. He'll do field assignments when he's old enough."

"And what are you planning on doing with him for the next six years then?" – Gideon chuckled. – "Face it, Aaron: exceptions have already been made for him to even be here. That means he _is_ here and he won't want to be babied for long. And he'll be right. I mean, just look at what happened: when he failed his qualification, I thought it was fine. I have to admit, I didn't fancy the thought of him having to carry a gun; I wanted to preserve his innocence. Now, as it turned out, if you hadn't worked with him and taught him to shoot properly, this whole case could have ended much messier. The thing is, when you work in an environment like that, you need to be able to defend yourself. We think we're protecting him by keeping him away from potential harm, while in reality we're doing him a disservice by not preparing him for what might come later when we're not there."

Hotch didn't want to acknowledge the truth to the statement. He wanted to believe they'd keep the boy safe for a very long time to come.

"But he's only 20… It's too soon! We will be there for him for years! He doesn't need to defend himself just yet."

Gideon put a calming hand on the younger agent's shoulder to steady him.

"I didn't say it would happen tomorrow. I just said that soon we'll have to familiarize ourselves with the fact that by choosing him and bringing him into this life the way we did, we have created an individual who'll have own goals and perspectives. He needs us now; yes, Aaron: _you_ too, don't ever doubt that; but he won't always depend on us to save him."

"All right… well… In a few years, maybe."

Gideon sighed but didn't feel like arguing that those 'years' might only be months now. Instead, he steered the younger man to the couch gently and sat him down next to the sleeping occupant with a small shove.

"Stay here with him until we arrive in case he'll get a nightmare. I would like to catch a bit of shuteye too." – They both knew it was a lie; Gideon wouldn't sleep a second during this journey.

"But… Jason! He won't want _me_ here when he wakes up!"

"Nonsense. You're smarter than that, Aaron Hotchner." – And with that, Gideon walked away, taking a seat at the far end of the plane, leaving Hotch alone with the slumbering youth.

The man tentatively reached out to brush the wayward fringe away from the young man's eyes. The boy immediately reacted and Hotch pulled back his hand as if he had been burnt. But then he realized something… Reid hadn't moved _away_ from his hand but _into_ it… Carefully, he tried again. Instantly, the genius turned towards him again.

Wow, was all Hotch could think as he caressed the boy's face. Maybe they'd really be all right?

 **CM * CM * CM * CM * CM * CM * CM * CM * CM * CM**

 _Five weeks later_

Gideon, Hotch, Morgan and JJ were gathered around a small screen in the middle of nowhere in the desert of Texas, watching in horrified fascination as their youngest team-member faced the delusional Doctor Theodore Bryar on his own, while he, from the looks of it (as they didn't have sound to confirm it) tried to talk the man out of giving in to his insanity and killing all the hostages, including Elle and himself.

Earlier that day the boy had volunteered to go into the carriage under the pretense of being a mere technician to comply with the schizophrenic man's demands to 'take out the microchip the Government had implanted into his arm to keep tabs on him'. What back then had promised to be a simple in and out task, had soon ended with Reid himself being captured as well.

Now, the three members outside had to realize, there was no 'Higher Authority' to help the boy anymore; and as the fact that the hostages were in no state to be of any use and since Elle was handcuffed to her seat, for the first time ever the young genius was really and truly alone.

This was an insanely frightening thought, especially considering that any time now the SWAT would decide that enough was enough and storm the train. It would result in casualties among the hostages; everyone knew that. Gideon quickly determined with a very heavy heart that, given Reid's position, he would be the first to be shot down. The boy didn't stand a chance if he wouldn't move out of the line of fire within the next minute or so.

Morgan was trying to shout at the screen as if the boy could hear him. JJ sobbed. Gideon was beating himself up for agreeing to let the boy anywhere near the train, let alone _inside_ of it, while Hotch just stared intently at the image of the genius, thinking:

' _We let him try his wings, Jason, just as you said. Was it really time?'_

It wasn't until half an hour later, on their way to the hospital where Elle would get her mandatory check-up before they would be allowed to head home, that Hotch thought proudly:

' _Yes. It_ was _time.'_


End file.
